You might remember my no-recipes policy from last week — no scones, no stews, no nonsense. Well, I can’t promise the same restraint from my newest recruit, Bert Whish-Willson, better known as Wish-Wash.
The gnarly old man has appointed himself reviewer-in-residence for my books, and you can now find his ramblings under the My Books tab on my website, beneath the heading “Wish-Wash Says.” He’s taken it upon himself to comment on every novel — even the ones he’s not in — which, if you know him, won’t surprise you one bit.
He’s meant to be a harmless old bloke from Windy Mountain, but like many characters, he’s got ideas above his station. Somewhere along the way, he wriggled free of the page and started speaking his mind. The trouble is, he’s not always kind about it. In fact, he pans one of my books, Major B.S. Comes to the End of His Rope. Fair dinkum — imagine being roasted by a bloke who doesn’t even exist.
I suppose that’s what happens when you spend too long with your fictional creations. Sooner or later, one of them decides they’re the real author. Wish-Wash insists he’s just “telling it like it is,” though I suspect he enjoys stirring the pot.
Anyway, you’ve been warned. Have a read of his reviews, but don’t take them too seriously. And if he ever starts sharing recipes, you’ll know he’s gone completely off the rails — or I’ve finally lost control of my own imagination
JOHN MARTIN 