Having mentioned Tim Tams in my last post, I find myself morally obliged to deal with them properly. You can’t just drop Tim Tams into a piece and walk away. That’s like mentioning the pub and not shouting a round.
The Tim Tam was introduced in 1964 by Arnott’s, inspired by a British biscuit called the Penguin. This is often presented as evidence that Tim Tams aren’t truly Australian. This is nonsense. Australia has a proud tradition of looking at overseas ideas and improving them by adding chocolate and confidence.
Two chocolate biscuits. Chocolate cream filling. Chocolate coating. It’s less a snack than a structural concept. The Tim Tam doesn’t flirt with restraint. It commits.
What matters more than its origin, though, is how it’s used. And this is where things get serious.
There is eating a Tim Tam, and then there is The Tim Tam Slam.
For the uninitiated, the Slam involves biting off opposite corners of the biscuit, using it as a straw to suck up a hot drink — tea, coffee, hot chocolate — and then quickly shoving the whole collapsing structure into your mouth before it disintegrates. Timing is critical. Hesitation leads to fingers coated in chocolate and regret.
This method is not a gimmick. It is the logical conclusion of the Tim Tam’s design. The Slam turns a biscuit into an event. It requires planning, commitment and a willingness to accept consequences — all fine Australian traits.
Purists will argue over the best beverage. Tea is traditional. Coffee is efficient. Hot chocolate is decadent and possibly excessive, though I admire the ambition. Cold milk works, but it lacks drama.
Tim Tams occupy a unique place in Australian life. They appear at work meetings when morale is low. They’re offered to visitors as a peace gesture. They are hoarded, rationed, hidden at the back of cupboards and then eaten standing up at 10pm.
They are not fancy. They are not rare. They are not subtle.
But they are dependable, familiar and quietly brilliant at what they do.
Which, when you think about it, makes them one of the most Australian things we’ve ever produced
JOHN MARTIN 