Author: johnmartinauthor
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God carries a big stick
I think there are a couple of valid reasons I never became an Olympic swimmer. This makes me a bit unAustralian. Having access to water is almost a birthright here. Water is almost as Aussie as sharks, crocodiles and melanomas. Having access to beer near that water tends to bring out the dickheadishness in adults. And…
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There’s gold in them thar urinals
I suppose it had to happen. Now they are putting advertising in men’s public toilets. And sometimes it is right in your face on the wall above the urinal. “Hmmm, I see they’re having a 50 per cent sale at the hardware shop,” you find yourself saying to the bloke next to you. “I think…
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The rise and fall of editor Jack Liver
NEWSPAPER editor Jack Liver came from the old school of journalism. Legend had it that he once threw a typewriter out of his window in a blind rage. He ruled with an iron fist. That was the way he was brought up in newspapers and he said it never did him any harm. He firmly…
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Raiding the fridge is all relative
I wonder if Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton had our kitchen refrigerator in mind when they got to thinking deeply about physics? Don’t laugh. Our fridge would be a veritable treasure trove for scientists with inquiring minds. Only the other night, when I raided the fridge for a midnight snack, I found a chicken that…
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Are you feeling clucky, punk
I do not want to crow, but I’ve just had my first flu vaccine shot. My doctor jabbed me at the top of my left arm and, despite my apprehension, the needle hardly hurt. The only thing that worries me now is that before the jab I was sitting alone in the doctor’s room with…
JOHN MARTIN'S TALES 