Author: johnmartinauthor
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Curse of the unhandyman
MICHAEL was born with a deformity which prevented him from being a proficient handyman. It was not a particularly visible deformity. In fact, the midwife who delivered him had not even noticed his deficiency. He seemed to have all the bits and pieces he would need in life — two legs, two arms, 10 fingers…
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Don’t hobnob with doorknobs
Alas, my mate Orville is not the sensitive kind. When he heard I had just lost my job, he was quick to tell me it was actually my fault. ‘My fault!” I said. “How can it be my fault? My editor called me into his office and told me to make my next column my…
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The mother of all kerfuffles
When Ludwig van Beethoven was born in Germany in 1770, I wonder how many people would have predicted he would grow up to be one of the most famous composers the world has known. I wonder, too, how many people would have predicted that one day he would cause a kerfuffle in my house? Not…
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Village boy becomes king of the castle
Jeremiah Spikehead could hardly believe it when he was selected to play volleyball at the Sydney Olympics. It was a dream come true: his chance to represent his country at his chosen sport. He got a big shock, however, the day he turned up at the venue marked down in his program for day one…
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More funny than you can poke a stick at
A work colleague has a friend who, being without a TV remote, changes channels with a stick. No kidding. He likes to watch telly in bed and wields the three-foot stick to change channels so he does not have to move too many muscles. Can you imagine that? Have we become that sad? Until today I never…
JOHN MARTIN'S TALES 