Author: johnmartinauthor
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Failing the smell test
In case you plan to send me advice about car air-fresheners, no need.I reckon I now know more about car air-fresheners than anyone who no longer drives a car needs to know.I gave up driving more than five years ago for health reasons and I’ve never felt the need to rejoin the growing rat race on wheels.When…
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Just beat it
Never say never. I made that mistake when I was five and first laid eyes on a metronome on top of Sister Bernadette’s piano in my first year at school. It was a wooden pyramid-shaped box – but I doubt I knew the pyramids existed back then, so I didn’t waste time wondering in music class if my mummy…
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Unfunny dunny
A couple of years ago I made fun of an in-law who got himself locked in the toilet. I forgot all about karma! Last week the same thing happened to me. But worse. The builders renovating our house had to rip out both our bathrooms, which meant we had to find alternative accommodation. We still spent…
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Have yourself a merry little TV aerial
Does anyone here want a used Christmas tree? Going cheap! OK, free. I just have to work out a way to get rid of it. I remember a time when I used to recycle Christmas trees. In my bachelor days, I always gave myself permission to get an artificial tree. People who don’t remember the…
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A la cart
Video and music site AIs are becoming increasingly accurate at guessing what else I’d like watch or listen to based on what I’ve already enjoyed. But I fear the Artificial Intelligence bots at Facebook are still on the practice tee. The other day I got a message saying “based” on my browsing history I might…
JOHN MARTIN'S TALES 