Crikey, what a feast to be had on Mad Bill’s Island. The gun-toting bloke running the place makes sure his guests never forget the local produce (or oddities). Here are some of the highlights:
- Yellow wee-wee flowers: These bright little blossoms dot the undergrowth, apparently prized by Mad Bill’s folk for their tangy zing and a fleeting yellow flush that reminds you of tropical sunshine on a dank day.
- Coconut: Mad Bill cracks open the husks with gusto, drains the milk, slices the flesh and toss chunks of it into dishes.
- Kelp: Sea-weed swirls that wash up on the shore don’t go to waste. They’re rinsed (well, okay, “rinsed” might be generous), roughly chopped, and thrown into the pot for colour, texture and a certain “what’s that slime doing?” edge.
So when you combine all that with the somewhat “mysterious meat” in Mad Bill’s stew, you’re in for a dinner that’s part island-tucker, part “I-hope-I’m-not-eating-a-rat” thrill ride. (It’s really rat – but for readers’ sake let’s pretend we’re not sure.)
Recipe: Mad Bill’s Mystery Meat Stew
Yields: about 6 hearty servings
Ingredients:
- 1.5 kg “mystery meat” (hint: rat, but mum’s the word) – cut into bite-sized chunks
- 2 tablespoons coconut oil (or other cooking oil)
- 1 large onion, diced
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 3 yellow wee-wee flowers, rinsed and chopped (or substitute bright edible wildflower if unavailable)
- 1 large coconut:
- crack open the husk, drain and reserve 400 ml coconut milk
- chop 200 g of the flesh into chunks
- 200 g fresh kelp (or sea-kelp/salt-tolerant sea-weed), rinsed thoroughly, chopped
- 2 large carrots, sliced
- 3 potatoes, peeled and cubed
- 1 litre chicken (or game-meat) stock
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Optional: chilli flakes for heat
- Fresh herbs (e.g., coriander or parsley) to garnish
Method:
- Heat the coconut oil in a large, heavy pot over medium-high heat. Add the “mystery meat” chunks and brown them on all sides. Remove and set aside.
- In the same pot, add the onion and garlic; sauté until translucent.
- Stir in the chopped yellow wee-wee flowers, chopped coconut flesh and chopped kelp; sauté for a minute or two to release aroma.
- Return the browned meat to the pot. Add the carrots, potatoes, tomato paste, smoked paprika and cumin; stir to coat everything evenly.
- Pour in the stock and the coconut milk, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and cook for about 45 minutes, or until meat is tender and vegetables are cooked through.
- Season with salt and pepper (and chilli flakes if you want a bit of island fire).
- Serve hot, garnished with fresh herbs. Preferably in a rough wooden bowl, for authenticity.
TIP: If you detect a faint squeak as you stir, don’t panic. That’s just the island ambience.
What the book’s about
A hapless soccer referee is forced into a nightmarish journey that lands him on Mad Bill’s Island, where the welcome mat isn’t exactly rolled out. Chaos ensues.
You can find Daddy’s Great Escape as an ebook on Amazon, Kobo, Apple Books, or Barnes & Noble. If you prefer the smell of paper and ink, the paperbacks are on Amazon too.
JOHN MARTIN 