JOHN MARTIN'S TALES

Like most boys, my ambitions were once wildly unrealistic and prone to sudden change.

At seven or eight, my career plan shifted decisively away from cowboys and towards outlaws. Specifically Robin Hood.

Before that I’d been fully committed to life on the frontier. I even had an Indian identification wall chart in my bedroom in Tasmania and could name all the tribes. But I eventually hung up my cap pistols when it became clear there were no legendary Apaches or Comanches roaming our neighbourhood.

It also turned out there weren’t many Sheriffs of Nottingham.

The man who drove the Mr Whippy van from street to street did resemble him a little, but I wasn’t stupid. You didn’t shoot the ice-cream man in the eye with a bow and arrow if you ever want another cone.

Robin Hood, though, lived deeply in my dreams.

I devoured The Adventures of Robin Hood, published by Roger Lancelyn Green in 1956. I was also an avid fan of the British TV series The Adventures of Robin Hood, starring Richard Greene as the myth, the legend.

I was captivated by the storytelling, the memorable characters and the spirit of adventure. If only my parents had dressed me in Lincoln green and let me head off into the forest to steal from the rich and give to the poor.

Our television was black and white, but the family car was a lurid green Ford Falcon station wagon — so I was some way there.

Ah. The dreams of little boys.

The day I turned 67, I finally accepted that I’ll never actually be Robin Hood. I’ve eaten far too many hearty meals by the campfire — the King’s pheasant, chip butties, the lot — and I’ve lived far too comfortably for a life of outlawry.

Still, I like to think I might have made a decent Merry Man.

I’d have been a better Little John than Little John. For a start, I really am little.

I might not have thrived on the rough-and-tumble life of Sherwood Forest, but I would certainly have enjoyed the camaraderie — the laughter, the storytelling and the quiet satisfaction of believing you were on the right side of things.