Category: Uncategorized
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Mais oui, my new writing studio
Some writers choose to hide in the wardrobe each day and pretend they’re in Narnia. For me, my imaginary place of writing is up a narrow flight of stone stairs leading to an apartment in the village of Saint Chinian, near Beziers in the south of France. I was there for real on holidays. My…
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Letter to the taxi company from a disgruntled customer
Dear manager,I am writing to ask you to look out for a hat which I left in one of your taxi cars on Tuesday. I would also like to complain about your employee who drove that car. I don’t get out very often — in fact, last Tuesday night was the first time in eight…
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Living next door to Rembrandt
If only Dutch artist Willie van Dork had listened to reason, he could have been just as famous as Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn. He had a lot in common with Rembrandt and some learned observers early in his career thought he was technically a better painter. But Willie carried a flawed gene that made him…
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Mr 13 per cent longs for love
Hey, have you seen any icy-cool, super-intelligent women with big, pointy ears around? I only ask this because I have been surfing the Internet for Valentine’s Day sites. One, dubbed the Love Calculator, told me that my relationship with my wife Katherine has only a 13 per cent chance of success. Another site told me…
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Falling into a booby trap
Thank you for your e-mail offering me bigger, firmer, natural-looking breasts. (This is a return letter to Quick Perfection) I have three questions: Do the breasts come with a woman on the other end or do I have to have them myself? If they do come accompanied, and I am not completely satisfied with your “amazing” product…
