They say every cloud has a silver lining. Mine came in the form of a silver-coloured spanner.
For years, my wife has shunned my handyman skills.
I don’t know why. I am always the first person to put up my hand when something needs fixing.
“Don’t be ridiculous, John,” she always says when something breaks down. “We’ll get someone in who knows what they are doing.”
Then she reminds when about the time I accidentally installed one toilet roll holder back to front.
“Everyone is allowed one mistake,” I argue.
That’s when she reminds when of the hammer mark I put in the wall when I tried to put in a picture hook. In my defence, I did try to mend that hole. Is it my fault it ended up looking like a paper mâché puppet?
But suddenly I am in vogue.
People who actually know what they are doing are now mostly stuck at home. This is a real boon for the wives who will finally get that new deck their husband has been promising to build for years “when I get the time.” But it’s also a win for my wife.
Now she will have no choice but to accept my very willing offer to help.
I am yet to get any compliments for the very professional-looking tool-belt I have started wearing, but I feel it is just a matter of time.
I’ve also become a bit of a hunter and gatherer.
When I finally return home dragging a roll of captured toilet paper, I’m sure no-one is even going to notice the toilet-roll holder is on back to front.
JOHN MARTIN 